It's not just about getting behavior to change. The learner'south motivation for irresolute has a profound touch on on the arc of hereafter behavior. For case, getting a child to stop picking on someone to avoid punishment is not the aforementioned as teaching them empathy and the power of compassion.

When I teach humans or other animals, I desire behavior modify to exist for the right reasons, whenever possible, so that the lessons can keep propagating forward over fourth dimension, like ripples in a pond. That's why I train dogs the way I do, and why I'g a huge fan of nonviolent communication (more about that in my How to Human form).

I similar to think of 2 contrary forces that inspire beliefs: attraction (I want) and repulsion (I don't want). You can imagine these as concrete forces, similar gravity or what happens when you bring two magnets together in unlike ways. One fashion pulls them together in a very strong bond. Reverse that, and they're pushing apart.

magnets

If you lot had one magnet and wanted to move the other i around without touching the 2nd magnet, how would yous practice it? You lot tin can move the second magnet around very reliably if you employ attraction. You can notwithstanding move the magnet with repulsion, but pushing is less efficient than pulling, and sometimes shoves it in unpredictable directions.

Let'due south go back to animals. By attraction, I mean that the fauna is inspired to do the behavior. For example, there's a smell across the room, and so the canis familiaris walks over to investigate. The aroma pulls him over. Or you ask the dog to sit and he does and then because he has a history of getting treats for sitting. Past sitting, he moves toward the opportunity to become a treat. Information technology's similar the treat pulled him into sitting, so that's why I call this attraction.

magnet_repelRepulsion is another way to get behavior, by pushing the animals in a certain direction – in order to avoid something unwanted, an creature will change his behavior.

For example, you tell the dog to sit and he does so because he has a history of getting a leash pop for not sitting. By sitting, he moves away from the threat of pain or pressure.

It's as if the threat pushed him into sitting, so that'due south why I call this repulsion. Similarly, a dog tin can be taught to heel because anywhere else - alee, behind, off to the side - is non safe to walk. Even though you are pulling on the leash to give that correction, that'southward not attraction -- it'due south still a force pushing the domestic dog somewhere, it merely happens to exist toward you.

So in this model, canis familiaris training comes downwards to adding an bonny or repulsive force along with adjusting forces that already exist. The large contend in beast preparation today is really almost whether to use attraction or repulsion.

Hither at GrishaStewart.com, nosotros use attraction, and this article helps explain why.

Repulsion and attraction are like pushing or pulling on a door – both options exert forcefulness and change what the door does. But dissimilar the door, your domestic dog has emotions and retentiveness, and attraction and repulsion are ii very different experiences for the learner.

For example, at that place's a technique in training chosen "alpha rolling" where the person pins the dog to the footing to enforce dominance. In that location are many means to do information technology, from staring the canis familiaris down to physically flipping the dog over and belongings them down.

That's repulsion, pushing – you practice something and the domestic dog flips over in order to brand it stop, or because at that place is physically no other choice. The dog is fugitive a negative consequence. Emotions probably range from annoyed to terrified.

Pro Tip:  What isn't widely known is that this kind of thing isn't really what wolves practice. It's actually more of an "omega roll" considering information technology is an offered beliefs. The roll is not forced on them.

Using attraction, you lot tin easily get your dog into the same position, if you wanted to. Sentry the video below for more than information.

Simply pet your domestic dog on the side of the cervix. Pause every 5 seconds, gradually lowering your hands so he eventually flops over in order to go more petting. Is it necessary for leadership? I have no thought. But if a dog is happily flopping on his back in forepart of you, you tin can probably throw out whatsoever worries that your dog is trying to dominate yous. And his day but got better, non worse, considering of you. Information technology's win-win. More Please!

Let's put this in human terms for leadership. A manager tin can get employees' cooperation via allure or repulsion. Using attraction, the staff does what the director wants considering information technology's rewarding. They enjoy the task itself, the social environment at work, or the result of doing the task.

Using repulsion, on the other hand, people would be doing the task because it's the lesser of two evils. They go in trouble if they don't do the task; to avoid problem, they do their jobs.

Which kind of manager would y'all rather accept? Which one would inspire higher quality work? Which one would have you fantasizing about working somewhere else?

"You lot don't lead by pointing and telling people some place to get. You lead by going to that place and making a example." -Ken Kesey

"Ok, fine," y'all say – "I'd rather be the inspirational kind of manager, and peradventure I'd rather utilize allure to railroad train my dog than repulsion. Simply what if my dog is doing something I don't like?"

_MG_2940If the dog is doing something, that's probably because he'south attracted to a reinforcer, like metal to a magnet. So nosotros basically move that "magnet" somewhere else.

That is, we tin apply that same reinforcer to invite behavior in another direction. Note: If he's barking and lunging to scare some other dog away, and so there's a different solution that still uses attraction, simply let's say he's doing something obnoxious because he's motivated to get something.

Let's say your canis familiaris is jumping up on you for attention when you come up abode. To use the attraction approach, gear up scenarios where the domestic dog will do something that you similar more than jumping. We want to inspire him to practise that behavior, so we arrange a situation that weakens the want to spring and makes it likely he'll do the behavior nosotros desire.

It's not a realistic situation yet, only it'south like a rehearsal of a play. Nosotros are building a new habit.

Here's a possible set-up. When yous take been home for a while, do some mock-ups where you walk outside and come up right back in.

Your dog won't be very likely to jump because he'due south non very excited. That's the goal.

Give attention or treats for having all paws on the basis. Repeat this, gradually leaving for longer periods. Like moving a magnet, this pulls the behavior in the management y'all want.

When y'all come home, if your domestic dog does spring up, don't requite attending, because that reinforces the beliefs. If we cake access to the reinforcer for behavior we don't want, that makes it less likely next fourth dimension. For instance, if yous just calmly turn away whenever your canis familiaris jumps up, then each time your domestic dog will be slightly less likely to jump up during the next greeting.

Reinforcing beliefs you similar and not reinforcing behavior you don't like weakens the pull to exercise the problem behavior and draws the behavior in the management you want.

Pretty soon, there'due south a new habit and no more jumping upwardly, because in that location'southward a behavior that works meliorate to get what your domestic dog needs. Using attraction is simple and make clean. The dog has an efficient way to meet his needs and your trouble is solved.

Repulsion would push the domestic dog into irresolute the behavior, by giving a correction when the dog jumps up, for example. Adding in something that the dog wants to avoid (pain, pressure, startle) temporarily suppresses that beliefs. That makes jumping up less probable, but now in that location'southward a negative emotional feel and the demand for attention still isn't met. The magnet is notwithstanding there.

You might get lucky and the canis familiaris will try continuing and looking at yous, just the canis familiaris may instead endeavor whining, pawing, or barking to become the attention. And he's probable to take fabricated some emotional connection with the situation, likewise. For example, maybe you coming home is a little scary now, so he also pees a bit when you walk in the door.

Repulsion can be but as constructive for changing beliefs as allure – that'due south why people do it. It's more heady on Idiot box because you get to see the dog snarling and biting or jumping around similar a pogo stick. But the problem with repulsion is the unpredictable fallout. It'south just smarter to use attraction, because it works and you get to be the "skillful guy" to your domestic dog, besides!

"Though force tin protect in emergency, just justice, fairness, consideration and cooperation can finally lead men to the dawn of eternal peace." -Dwight D. Eisenhower

Here are some more than human examples of leaders – people who influence the behavior of others. Which ones are using repulsion and which are using allure?

A. Democratic leader for whom citizens voted for in a landslide
B. Dictator who seized power with violence and threats

A. The manager everyone simply wants to work for because she is fair, consistent, and fun
B. The manager who keeps reminding people "I am the dominate here!" And "you're ever late!" (kind of like the instance I gave in a higher place with the blastoff rolling)

A. Fitness coach who inspires you to work out
B. Fitness coach who makes fun of you lot and shames y'all into working out

A. Person who throws a party and tells you how much fun it is going to exist on the invitation  (involvement)
B. Person who throws a party and says yous take to go to, otherwise they volition reveal some secret near you (obligation)

A. Candidate that yous vote for because you similar her policies
B. Candidate that you vote for because everyone else is fifty-fifty worse

A. Cool kid at schoolhouse that everybody wants to hang out with because he's fun
B. Bang-up cool-kid wannabe who people befriend because otherwise he volition bully them

I promise you lot can encounter the trend. All of the A choices use attraction and all of the B choices apply repulsion.

Real leaders have an allure approach with their followers. They just exude an aura of confidence and you want to do what they want. They wait for artistic ways to inspire beliefs and merely use repulsion (pushing) when all else fails. To me, resorting to repulsion techniques, like suppression and threats, is a sign of a weakness, not true strength.

magnet-toy

Using repulsion to strength behavior has negative consequences, like phobias, depression, aggression, or wildcat if you are a boat helm.

If yous are potent and you push button dogs hard enough, they volition eventually motility, simply there'due south emotional baggage from the feel. It's like a niggling counterforce has been created that motivates behavior in unpredictable ways. You also become the least amount of cooperation required to brand your strength stop.

If you use attraction, that also builds up a forcefulness of information technology's own, simply it's in the direction of doing what you lot want. You become enthusiastic cooperation using attraction. Think of the enthusiasm you put into your hobbies versus the enthusiasm you put into doing your taxes. Information technology's like devotion instead of obligation.

When you demand to change a beliefs, always see if yous tin practise it without force at all. Even using attraction has a small cost, I remember, in the liberty of the animal.

Can you just change the situation, similar endmost the trash or fixing a health issue? Can yous weaken an bonny or repulsive force that already exists by working at a far distance or irresolute something else nearly the state of affairs? In training nosotros call this "antecedent arrangements" or "environmental technology" – both of which are but fancy ways to say "set your dog up for success."

If you lot practice need forcefulness, apply allure instead of repulsion, whenever possible. When yous remember pushing is absolutely required for your situation, double-check whether experienced creature trainers are coming to the aforementioned conclusion.

Leading with allure, instead of pushing, may not come up natural to you, just you are probably already using a fair amount of it. Just build on that success.

When at that place's a setback, it'south totally normal to fall back into what has worked for you lot before.

When we learned to walk as children, we gave up and went dorsum to crawling sometimes. But when you were prepare to acquire again, walking was worth the endeavour. It's so much more fun than crawling everywhere and you don't scrape up your knees. Similarly, learning the science and art ofusing allure to change behavior is worth the endeavor. Information technology'southward so much more fun than using repulsion – for you and the canis familiaris. Plus you lot don't injure your relationship with the dog or create low or new phobias.

When you kickoff learned to walk, you lot might take needed to hold someone's paw to go over rough terrain. Lots of trainers accept switched from using repulsion to maximizing the use of attraction and they are happy to aid when you need it. If you set up your mind to it, you can observe an "allure" solution to pretty much every behavior problem.

Warning: I have to add a little note here that some trainers use attraction with dogs but they withal use repulsion with people. If yous experience pushed around, shamed, etc., simply movement on. There are plenty of open up-minded trainers out in that location who have a consistent attraction approach with both animals and people.

That hypocrisy actually goes both ways – I have watched Cesar Millan, a TV trainer who uses repulsion with dogs, assistance a person with a canis familiaris phobia. His mode with the person was completely reverse of how he works with dogs. He used attraction, rather than pushing the human being into a stressful situation. The student and then cooperated with Cesar'due south advice and became more than confident.

The cooperation didn't come because the man was avoiding something, simply because he was drawn in by a prophylactic situation. One of my greatest wishes is that Cesar Millan acquire to utilize a more attractive leadership style with dogs. The whole earth would be much ameliorate off.

"My job as a leader is to make sure everybody in the visitor has great opportunities, and that they feel they're having a meaningful impact and are contributing to the skilful of society. As a world, we're doing a better job of that." -Larry Page (Google)

Thanks for reading! I hope y'all tin notice an attractive mode to work with the animals in your life.

Related Classes:

  • Cheque out "Modern Brute Training," "Empowerment: How to Build Cooperation and Trust," and "How to Set Boundaries for Animal Care," which are some of the lessons in my Domestic dog Training Skills for People course.
  • Learn all most consent for contact in the webinar Don't Simply Grab the PussyCat: Consent for All Species
  • Learn most ideals for professional brute trainers in Dr. Susan Friedman'south webinar Why Animals Need Trainers Who Adhere to the Least Intrusive Principle.

To ponder: Can you give some more examples of behavior motivated by via A. attraction or B. repulsion? Share near them in social media.

Here'southward a list to get y'all started:

A. Calling a friend who understands you and helps you see what is proficient near your life
B. Calling a "friend" to try to stay on her skillful side, because she will gossip about you if you lot go out her social circumvolve

A. Hobby
B. Piece of work

A. Signing upwardly to serve in the armed forces
B. Getting drafted

A. Falling in Dearest
B. Stockholm Syndrome (hostages having good feelings about their captors)

A. Providing a scratching mail that your true cat likes
B. Squirting a true cat for scratching your furniture

A. Teaching your dog to support using a target and clicker training in a narrow hallway
B. Leaning into your dog to get him to support

A. Letting your domestic dog see other dogs at a distance where he is drawn to interact with them instead of wanting to escape or bark
B. Correcting a canis familiaris for barking at other dogs

A. Scattering treats in a room with a slippery floor so the dog will move around and get used to walking on it
B. Dragging a dog across a slippery flooring so the dog will become used to walking on it